Come Home: An Invitation to Trust Your Body

Last week, I hired Heather Statham to lead a stage movement workshop for my clients. I knew they were looking for ways to get comfortable on stage, and while I have plenty of classical performance experience, I wanted someone who lived and breathed contemporary music. Heather's a blues singer who performs regularly, so I thought: perfect.

What I didn't expect was that this workshop would be transformative—not just for my clients, but for me too.

The Workshop That Changed Everything

I knew there would be movement involved. I didn't know it would feel like coming home.

Heather invited each of us to move in ways that were comfortable to us, in ways that brought us back to ourselves. What was remarkable was how we were all doing our own thing in this little online workshop, yet we felt part of a community together in a beautiful, connected way. She invited vulnerability. She invited acceptance—real acceptance.

And that's when it hit me: this was exactly what I teach with singing, just expressed through movement.

We Live in a Society That Tells Us We're Not Okay

Let's be real. Our society constantly tells us we can't trust ourselves. We need to look outside ourselves for validation. We need to be told what to do. We can't trust our bodies.

Good lord, diet culture? Are you kidding me?

Think about voice lessons. Even well-intentioned teachers say things like "this is what you should sound like" or "this is how it should feel." But that's not really how it works. Yes, a voice is a voice is a voice, but every body is different. Everyone experiences different sensations.

Where else does this show up in your life? Where else are you told that you don't know what's happening in your own body? That you don't know what's happening in your own brain?

There are a lot of examples, y'all.

When Being in Your Body Feels Like a Threat

In our conversation after the workshop, several of my clients shared something that broke my heart open: because of personal experiences and personal identities, they were not able to feel comfortable in their bodies. Being in their bodies was a threat to them.

And yet in this workshop, it was an invitation home.

That's what moved everyone.

Filling Your Self-Trust Bucket

So how do we start trusting ourselves again? How do we fill our self-trust buckets?

Because really, that's how we get vulnerable on stage, isn't it? When we can trust that we're going to be up there being ourselves and that it's going to be okay. When we trust that we're worthy and that we deserve to be on that stage.

Anyone who wants to be on stage deserves to be on that stage.

Here are some ways to start:

Try the Fuck It Method. 

I'm a big fan of the whole "fuck around and find out" approach. What would happen if you said, "fuck it, I don't care" and just went for it? What if you made a "bad" sound and discovered what it actually feels like to make sounds with your voice?

And to be clear: sounds do not have a moral quality. There's no good or bad sound. There is just sound.

Incorporate movement into your singing. 

Let your body move. Let it tell you what it wants to do. Stop making it behave.

Find your community. 

Being with others who are experiencing the same fears around singing is a great way to start building trust. We listen to each other. We witness each other. My clients listen to each other more than they listen to me, and that's exactly as it should be.

Start small. 

You don't have to trust yourself completely tomorrow. Just notice one thing your body is telling you today. Honor one impulse. Make one choice that's yours alone.

Question the "shoulds." 

Every time you hear yourself think "I should sound like this" or "I should move like that," pause. Ask yourself: says who? What do I want?

The Invitation

This is your invitation to come home to your body, to your voice, to yourself.

Your body knows what it can do. Your voice knows what it wants to say. You know what you're experiencing, what you're feeling, what's true for you.

Stop waiting for permission. Stop looking for validation. Stop believing that everyone else knows better than you do about what's happening inside your own skin.

Trust yourself. Fill that bucket. And then get on that stage and be exactly who you are.

Because you deserve to be there.

And don't worry—I have an online coffee date with Heather next week to see how else we can collaborate. This, my friends, just may be the start of something beautiful.

What examples do YOU have of not being able to trust yourself? What steps have you taken to start filling your own self trust bucket?

I’d love to hear them!